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 ( pizza sucks without you ), tag: spiff /gus
Choi Yoonsup
 Posted: May 4 2018, 07:11 PM
Quote
© teddy [she/her] // Offline
194 posts
ORPHAN
18 years old
Numb
Broken
Chwe Hansol
Independent


BETWEEN YOU AND ME
June and Sangwon had been a great help to Yoonsup. He knew that if those two hadn't been around to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, he would have done something stupid. Because he was stupid. Stupid for breaking up with Sooil hyung and stupid in love with the other guy still.

He had seen the news almost immediately as it was broadcast. A car crash involved idols and their manager. At first he didn't pay much attention to it, and almost clicked away to another channel, until their pictures and names came up. Sungu and August. Sooil hyung. He had froze and didn't know what to say or do. June had tried to urge him to go to the hospital but Yoonsup was too much of a coward. How could he go there to see Sooil and then get rejected again? No... He would just go see August at his dorm.

A friend of a friend who knew a guy who worked at SLE had gotten information to Yoonsup. August was leaving the hospital later that day. He planned to be at his exe's dormitory, with a pizza in hand and he wasn't even going for forgiveness. He didn't expect Gus to care about him anymore. Yoon just had to know he was okay.

So that's where he was, standing in the rain with the pizza box carefully held under the umbrella with him, his left shoulder getting wet just to make sure the pizza would be ok. He saw a van with tinted windows pull up and his heart skipped a beat. He almost ran away then. How could he face August again? He chewed on his lip until he saw Gus coming towards the dormitory. He peeked from under the umbrella and he knew Gus had seen him... "H-hey hyung..."

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August Bang
 Posted: May 10 2018, 04:22 PM
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© Spiffers [She/Her] // Offline
147 posts
Gus
19 years old
Yoonsexual
dating Yoon <3
Boo Seungkwan
Idol SLE





It was terrifying. August truly would have never expected that he would ever be affected the way he had by the crash. More than just physically--which physically he wasn't great either-- but mentally he was still dealing with his feelings. Perhaps it was how bad off Sungu had been, how worried for his friend and then seeing the way Yongkook reacted.

He had always been aware of his mortality but never before had he felt truly how impermanent he was. The days following the accident have been ones of quiet introspection, sorting his thoughts on his family and other relationships...including Yoonsup.

Yoonsup had consumed his every thought. It had made him quiet, quieter than usual. Thankfully everyone seemed to be giving him space, knowing he needed to heal and that he was concerned his best friend and groupmate. He had been cleared from the hospital though his face and body were still bruised, bandages here and there and few stitches he worried would leave a scar.

He rubbed the cast on his arm as he made his way back to his dorm and for a moment when he saw his ex-boyfriend standing there he thought maybe all his thinking had resulted in hallucinations. Beautiful, nearly perfect pizza hallucinations.

"Hi," he responded softly, still a bit wide eyes as he decided this was real and not some near death related fuckery. Then he was torn, torn between elation and irritation. Because of course he was still upset but for all his thinking he had come to confirm something he had always really known. That of course he was still in love with him and he doubted that that fact would ever change.

"Carry this," he said and placed the bag of his belongings into his hand and taking the pizza box opening it to grab a slice. August stuffed into his mouth as if he were a starving man before nudging Yoon to follow him, searching his face in concern. June hadn't been responding to his questions of Yoon's health, in fact he had gotten some very nasty responses from the rapper and he hardly should have been surprised.

"Come on, lets get somewhere before one or both of us cries."

tag: YOONSOO

### words

ahhhhhhhh i love and miss them
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Choi Yoonsup
 Posted: May 13 2018, 04:53 PM
Quote
© teddy [she/her] // Offline
194 posts
ORPHAN
18 years old
Numb
Broken
Chwe Hansol
Independent


BETWEEN YOU AND ME
Okay... Well... Sooil had acknowledged him at least.

He let Sooil take the pizza box while he carried the other's bag. Yoonsup felt a lump in his throat and he wanted to ask his boyfr--- hyung how he was doing. Yoon watched as Sooil ate a slice of the pizza. At least he had made a good choice in coming with some food. He could see the manager watching the two of them with interest and Yoonsup gave her an uncertain smile before she disappeared into the dormitory building. He had always thought of the manager like a mother he had never had but now it felt like he had lost that too.

Yoon let Sooil lead the way and he trailed after him, trying to collect together his thoughts and feelings. There was a lump in his throat and yes, admittedly, he was close to crying. He took a deep breath and then managed to find his voice again. "I'm... I'm not here to beg for forgiveness or anything. I know I messed up. I just wanted... Needed... I had to know you were okay after what happened..." His voice trailed off when he thought about what could have happened to Sooil hyung.

Accepting they were over was hard but the idea of losing Sooil, of him dying in a car crash... It had broken him more. Yoonsup stopped when the other did and he waited. "I know we're over. I know I don't deserve you... I don't want to hurt you anymore..." He added, his voice cracking. His heart hurt even though he had tried to be strong and accept his own words. Was he really letting go? Like this? He knew it was for the best. Sooil would never be truly happy with him. He had made a promise when they first started dating and he had broken that promise. He knew if Sungu hyung wasn't in the hospital, he would be getting a fist to the face right now.

Maybe that was what he needed or deserved. Certainly felt like he did.


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August Bang
 Posted: May 15 2018, 04:25 PM
Quote
© Spiffers [She/Her] // Offline
147 posts
Gus
19 years old
Yoonsexual
dating Yoon <3
Boo Seungkwan
Idol SLE





August gave his manager a small wave and managed an even smaller smile, just trying to let her know he was okay. He'd relied a lot on her recently, more than usual with how heatbroken and defeated he had been feeling. But even though he felt scared and his still healing wounds burned at the sight of him, he knew he couldn't run from this forever.

Yoon had filled a hole in his heart and expanded so that when he left he left him more broken than when he had found him. He finished the first slice quickly before scooping up another and wolfing it down as well. Diet be damned.

He let him talk, too busy with eating and still a little too aggravated to take him out of the hot seat yet. "Why not?" His cheeks colored a little bit as he set the box down a little roughly, "Why don't you want forgiveness? You don't want to see if there's even a chance."

The idol's voice cracked a little and he knew it was stupid to get so worked up, but he had been keeping it in for so long and the crash had awoken so many feelings in him. "So what if we're not together right now. Don't you even want to try." He began to tear up, swiping at his eyes, "I haven't been able to stop thinking of you and then after-- I just kept thinking how much I didn't want to be without you."

He looked up, eyes rimmed with red and watery, "But we can't just do it like last time. Without figuring anything out, without fixing anything and just waiting for it to break apart again.

tag: YOONSOO

### words

ahhhhhhhh i love and miss them
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Choi Yoonsup
 Posted: May 17 2018, 09:36 AM
Quote
© teddy [she/her] // Offline
194 posts
ORPHAN
18 years old
Numb
Broken
Chwe Hansol
Independent


BETWEEN YOU AND ME
Life was miserable without Sooil in it but Yoonsup couldn't hold back his hyung any more. "I... I do but... It's obvious I don't deserve it." He couldn't bring himself to look at his ex, looking instead at the grass and taking a breath. His throat was knotting up and his chest hurt and he could feel his eyes stinging. He didn't want to cry. He had done nothing but cry about Sooil for the past month or so. Couldn't he just be done with crying? Yoon was tired. With everything. He didn't have the strength to keep going.

He didn't want to.

Trying to wipe at his eyes, Yoon just shrugged at Sooil's words. If he couldn't have Sooil then there was no point to anything. He knew his cousin would call him dramatic for thinking that way but Yoon had really put a lot of his energy into his relationship with Sooil. He felt drained now. "I..." What else could he say? Sorry? Sooil's words hurt and Yoon took a step back. He looked up at the wrong time and met Sooil's gaze. Fuck he was crying. Because of him. He was such a fucking piece of shit. He didn't deserve someone as wonderful as Sooil.

"I just had to make sure you were okay after the accident." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He had to know Sooil was okay before he... Yoon had to check on him, that was all. "It was nice seeing you one last time." He mumbled, not even sure if he had said it aloud or not.


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